So just when you think we’re election-ed out we get slapped with another dose of democratic greatness. IT’S STATE ELECTION TIME ZOMG, so strap yourself in for the ride.
While it is a bit too early to start truly working out who’s doing what in this campaign (are they really ever going to do anything?) the battle between the guy from the bakery chain and the nerd with like a million vowels in his name is already turning into a media stunt fest.
According to urban dictionary, a media stunt is defined as ‘making yourself look as uncomfortable as possible while doing the most mundane of things’. Already Brumby has been spotted kicking a football to a firewoman and kicking a soccer ball into a net guarded by a chauffeur.
But yesterday we were given the absolute piece de resistance.
Our Premier ventured out to a Bendigo primary school and went on to hit a ball into the groin of a hapless boy. The mind boggles at what was going through his mind at the time, but we here at Sixxpack have a few ideas:
· The Labor thinktank would much prefer Mr Brumby to be seen as someone who hurts children rather than yet another politician who can’t play cricket
· The boy had the nerve to enquire about the likelihood of Bronwyn Pike holding onto the seat of Melbourne
· The Boy had a preference deal with the Greens
· When a journalist asked Mr. Brumby about the state of the public transport system, Brumby hit the ball and muttered ‘It’s nuts’.
This is not to say that our political leaders should shun the media spotlight. Now that the football is over and cricket is yet to start our news bulletins are short of content and we need some sort of relief from the endless reports about unimportant things like the financial crisis.
But clearly it is about time our pollies realised how little there was to be gained from staging these amazing ventures into awkwardness. Watching any of Kevin Rudd’s Rove interviews are prime evidence that politicians should stick to what they are paid to do: argue incessantly and make us all bitter about democracy.
So from the bottom of our hearts here at Sixxpack we beg you: no more stunts. We already have enough personalities bringing cringe-worthy moments that embarrass us greatly. Jessica Mauboy at the ARIA’s anyone?
-Sixxpack.
PS: To a certain other candidate for Premier, don’t think you’ve been forgotten either. If any of us catch you in Speedos we’ll come down on you harder than a girls grammar school on lesbians. Oh wait, you’ve already done that. Roflloser.
