If we had a debate, the election would be a party, it’d be ecstasy. Apparently.

After positive economic news and the holding of interest rates, it was of no surprise to us here at Sixpack that Julia Gillard demanded a secondary debate with her nemesis Kev… oh wait Tony Abbot.

The Australian voting public all collectively ran into the streets, shouting with joy, ripping off their clothes in a mass frenzy of euphoria, fuelled by pure political enthusiasm. Or not.
After the schamozzle (technical term) that was the first (and hopefully only) electoral debate, do we seriously need a repeat?

While nothing would entertain us more than re-living the glory that was the ‘fair dinkum’ drinking game (oh the aussie twine drunkenness) our two prime ministerial candidates have once again lost sight of what it takes to invigorate what has already been an incredibly dull political campaign.

Two robots arguing with each other with pre-loaded conversation modules may have worked on an episode of the Jetsons, but unfortunately for our two parties it no longer works at Sunday Prime-Time.

Debates don’t really change the course of elections. Rudd was always going to win his debates during the last election because no matter what spurted out from his opponent’s mouth, Rudd would repeat with the smile of a man who still had all of his original teeth.

Latham was always going to lose his debates because... he was batshit crazy.

With apologies to the workers in the electoral worm union (EMU), the all-knowing worm should be considered irrelevant in political discussion. You can’t rest our political future with people who are staring at a pad with two buttons that simply beg PRESS ME WHO CARES WHICH ONE JUST PRESS THE FRIGGEN BUTTON. People press buttons to put in cheats to Starcraft 2 (ZOMG), not vote in leaders.

If we are to have another electoral debate, measures must be taken to liven up a horrible spectacle. A taboo style card where our candidates can’t say certain words (moving forward et al) and failure to adhere to the rule would prompt a vuvuzuela… to the face.

Regardless, we here at Sixpack aren’t that worried, the new season of Inspector Rex starts soon on SBS and there is no way channel execs would dare take on such a ratings titan.



-Sixpack.
(Yes that is an Adam Lambert lyric in the title, we still don’t know what it means)